No Fancy Name
Thursday, July 01, 2004
While people are off seeing Fahrenheit 9/11 (which I plan to see this weekend), my friends and I went to see Spider-Man 2. It's about a 4 (out of 10), and that has nothing to do with the cast. In fact, Tobey Maguire was good (disclaimer: he's one my 5 favorite actors). Kirsten Dunst did the best she could do with what was given to her (disclaimer: I really like her a lot, and while I don't really have a list of favorite actresses, she'd be in it. Drop Dead Gorgeous? Bring it On? Hilarious, and she did a great job in both.)

As for the rest of the cast, Skoda was good. I mean, J.K. Simmons. This may be the role that makes me forget he was Vern Schillinger in Oz, when I see him every day on Law & Order. Alfred Molina? Eh. Whatever. I wasn't particularly a-feared of Doc Ock, which isn't good when he's your villain. James Franco was fine, but he's still Daniel from Freaks and Geeks to me. Dylan Baker probably would have been just fine, but all I could see was the guy who played no less than three different roles on various Law & Order episodes (particularly the one in which he killed his little boy), an arc on The Practice in which he was a law-breaking senator, as well as the aforementioned Shillinger's attorney on Oz. Highlights from supporting cast/cameo appearances: Joxer, I mean Ted Raimi, was very funny. Autolycus, I mean, Brisco County, Jr., I mean Bruce Campbell also had a funny 2 minutes. Finally, Hal Sparks' elevator scene was a trip. That man doesn't have to say anything to be funny.

So, the problem certainly wasn't the cast. The CGI didn't especially suck. The ability to show terribly violent things without any blood, that was good for the kids. I think it all boiled down to: too damn much talking. Shut UP already, we get it that you're conflicted. We got it with the first sentence, didn't need to hear the remaining rambling paragraph about it.

I probably wouldn't give it a rotten tomato, because the individual pieces were good, except the writing. I didn't see Wonder Boys, so I don't know if Michael Chabon just can't do screenplays, or what. I really liked his book The Mysteries of Pittsburgh, but that was like 15 years ago.


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