No Fancy Name
Monday, March 07, 2005
do NOT fuck with the Girl Scouts
I was a Girl Scout for several years. No really, I was! I went to camp and everything (and it was horrible, but that's another story). I was big on the cookie-selling, although I think my dad sold most of the cookies for me. Although I haven't been a Girl Scout for more than twenty years, I've been a cookie-lover all that time.

In case you haven't seen the mobs of girls in Brownie uniforms outside your local supermarket/wal-mart/whatever, the cookies have arrived for this year. Since none of my friends have girls in scouting, I rely on these mobs for all my cookie needs. Typically I get my cookies outside the Starbucks in the strip mall that houses my Whole Foods, and this year was to be no different—or so I thought. I did my WF shopping, put my groceries in the car, then went back to the cookie table and dutifully bought my box of Thin Mints. Then I went into Starbucks, and as I was ordering my drink I saw the security guard talking to the cookie mom.

Actually, I saw the security guard gesturing wildly and pointing vehemently at some clipboard which presumably held some very important security-guard papers.

The security guard was FUCKING WITH THE GIRLS SCOUTS, of his own accord, because they weren't on his list of approved solicitors (never you mind that two non-Girl Scout and decidedly annoying little scammers were at the opposite end of the sidewalk, soliciting without being hassled), or some such nonsense. Bear in mind that not one merchant had complained, and in fact several WF and SBUX employees were quietly forming a little group around this crazy man who was hell-bent on denying us all our cookies, ready to spring into action and defend the honor of the 8-year-olds selling crack cookies to the masses. He then said he was going to go call the police.

Yeah, because in San Jose, the cops really want to spend their time busting a bunch of Brownies.

What ended up happening was that all the people milling about bought extra boxes of cookies, so the girls were sold out for the day. HA! HA on you, Mr. Un-American security guard who doesn't understand that the Girls Scouts and their followers are not to be trifled with!


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