oh, and last night? I lit myself on fire.
Seriously. That's how much of a dumbass I am sometimes. Sure, it was 3am but that's no excuse.
I had the kettle on the front burner and was reaching for a package of cereal which was in the back of the cabinet above the range, so there was standing-on-toes and leaning forward. Luckily I am not quite as fat as I was a few months ago and it was just my shirt that was hanging over the electric burner. I smelled something burning, said to myself "what's that smell?" and looked around for a piece of paper or something that might have gotten on the burner but no, it was just my shirt. Except I didn't see the flaming part because it's a baggy shirt and my boobs were in the way because I was still leaning forward, so it wasn't til a few more seconds had passed and I realized that indeed my shirt was on fire.
I looked at it, laughed a little, then put it out with my fingers. It wasn't a big flame or anything, but the hem of one of my favorite tshirts now has a chunk burned out of it. No real harm done, I made my tea and continued on with my work.