No Fancy Name
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Firefox 1.5
Firefox 1.5, a pretty major release in browserland, is available. I will have to spend some time with it this weekend, going through the extensions I use and determining which are nullified by new built-in features, which are not 1.5-compliant, etc.

Can't wait to play with it.

Monday, November 28, 2005
my book should be available now
So Sams Teach Yourself Blogging in a Snap should be available now, so says the main page at the Sams website. It may take a day or two to show up as "available" and not "pre-orderable" at Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble or Powells or Bookpool.com, etc.

I'll probably update the blog for the book in the next few days, after I get my review copies and go through the actual pages and check for errata (and add topics for things Blogger added/modified since the book went to print). Speaking of copies, I know I promised copies to some people—mom & dad, Mel, Dr. B, Profgrrrrl, Rhonda, Phantom Scribbler, Pink Cupcake, jo(e), Scrivener, Dr. Free-Ride...was there anyone else? If you're not in that list above and you know I said I'd save one for you, leave a comment or email me to let me know. Everyone else on the list, I'll email you soon to get your address (if you still want a copy).

The little graphic above, it links to the page at the Sams website for the book because that page also has links for obtaining instructor and/or media review copies.

Sunday, November 27, 2005
sushi sushi sushi
So last night profgrrrrl was in town (not this town, per se, but a town somewhere nearby) and we went for sushi. My friends here don't eat sushi so going out for it is always a special occasion reserved for friends who have momentarily imported themselves to my area. I know all the sushi joints in my town and in the south bay in general, but I figured we should go somewhere different. I figured the good folks at SFist would have a foody opinion on sushi and lo and behold they did. SFist has reviewed several sushi joints in the city but almost always refers to their favorite, Hamano Sushi, in the other reviews. After checking the menu on the website, I figured that was the place to go. So, off we went.

Best. Sushi. Ever.

You can see some photos in profgrrrrl's post, and remarkably only a few people looked at us like we were crazy people taking photos of sushi. Actually, it was only profgrrrrl who took the photos because I kept screwing up the process of pressing the little photo-taking button. I don't know how, but it was embarrassing. No matter!

Because we are sushi pigs, we had:
- roll: salmon, white tuna, green onion, gobo fried in light crisp batter
- roll: tuna, avocado, tobiko
- roll: yellowtail, green leaf, lemon, black pepper (peppery!), red and green tobiko
- roll: fish tempura, cilantro, lemon wrapped in soy paper
- her nigiri: fatty tuna, salmon roe with quail egg, eel
- my nigiri: fatty tuna, flying fish roe with quail egg, ocean trout

I brought home five leftover roll pieces for lunch (yay!). We swapped with the roe+quail egg so each of us had one salmon roe and one flying fish roe. That was an experience. The taste was amazing—the best sushi I have ever had, bar none. forever and ever. If it were sushi of a lesser quality, I don't think I could have done the quail egg because it's purely a texture thing (it makes things all creamy and sweet) and lesser quality roe would have been too salty or fishy and that would have just made it disgusting rather than intense and good (it's a fine line).

I wish I knew more people around here who liked sushi, because I would go there a lot.

Saturday, November 26, 2005
end-of-semester thoughts and stress
When discussing my future with profs I'm working with, or with other academics not at my school, I always get "the chat." It goes something like this: "do you know what your future holds, your current income slashed by 75% and the problem students and the lack of jobs and the presence of departmental politics [etc]?" To which I always say, "yes, I really do" and they say, "ok, as long as you know..." and we all move on. I appreciate "the chat" and I hope they have "the chat" with those idealistic folks ten years my junior who are still a little sketchy on what consititutes scholarly (or even scholarish) work but are convinced they're going to move on to a top-notch school and that the world of academia is filled with lots of jobs that pay lots of money for MAs or PhDs in English. I tried to explain the concept of "adjunct" and "piecing together work from multiple schools" and even "seven years of indentured servitude" and "no, you're not going to get into Stanford with your San Jose State MA and your 40 percentile on the GRE subject test and oh by the way George Eliot is a woman" but can you believe it? They didn't want to listen to me.

Anyway, my first semester will be over in a few weeks (December 13th to be exact) and I must say that for me, I'm at the right place at the right time. Although a large school (total enrollment something like 30K), I don't think even 1% of the undergrads are English majors, and the combined enrollment of the MA and MFA programs is probably less than a hundred. So, when someone shows a little promise and desire to move on to the next level, profs are there for mentoring and just general q&a (even if they're not your actual profs)—and there's no real sense of competition among the students because everyone pretty much goes their own way. So basically what I'm saying is that you get out of this program what you put into it, and if you want to put a lot into it then profs are glad to help. So I am thankful for that.

I've done well this semester, nothing less than an A- on anything. Of course I was appropriately outraged at myself when receiving such a grade and took all the comments to heart and made the necessary modifications for the next assignment so I would get the A. I kept up with all the reading for three classes, and then some. I gave four presentations—something I hate doing—but didn't hate doing these for some reason. I made some pals at school, and somehow managed to accumulate graduate assistant positions for three different profs, so next semester will be even more interesting.

But I still have a full-time job, and I will continue to have this job until I leave here in two years and move on to the next level. Assuming, of course, that some school at the next level wants me, and even then I'm sure I'll have some part-time connection to this job, as long as the company is still around. Because I have this full-time job, and the current Enterprise Application Taking Over Our Lives project, it means I have very little spare time to do pesky things like research papers. I have two such papers due in a few weeks, plus one other short essay rolled into a larger paper. I have theses and outlines for each, and a stack of books sitting next to me at all times, but it's slow going.

I am not terribly stressed out about it. They'll get done, and they won't suck, and it'll all be fine. Don't know how it will happen, exactly, but it will—just like in my job. We get stuff dumped on us all the time, of indeterminate length but with hard deadlines, and we always get it done. It's the silicon valley/high-tech startup work ethic. I am thankful for that sort of training, because it's definitely been helpful in my schoolwork, but I do long for the day when weekdays have readingtime built into them and every single weekend can be devoted to scholarly endeavors, not just a few here and there.

i am (generally) not a fan of musicals
I almost wrote "by rule, I am not a fan of musicals," but since the exceptions to that rule originally numbered three, and now number four, my buddy told me that's more of a trend than a rule. On Wednesday afernoon we went to see Rent and I was warned that I would cry. I said, "but I cry at everything," and my buddy said something to the effect of "even I cry" and she doesn't tend to cry at anything so I momentarily thought, "oh crap, maybe I just shouldn't go" if there was going to be so much crying. But then I remembered that we so rarely go out and do things, so I'd best go. I'm glad I did, and I did cry. She said, "just don't weep" and I didn't, but I could have, if I were a weeper.

Anyway, I'm one of those people who saw the movie without any preconceived notion of what it should be. I've never seen the play, and to my knowledge I've never heard the songs. I didn't even really know the story. I know, I know, but see above re: I am not a fan of musicals. I liked it a lot. The first twenty minutes or so was a little stilted, or sketchy, or something just a bit off, but I attribute that to trying to shove a musical into a film. Or, it could have just been me. But after that it was two really good hours of movie, so there you go. I did most of my crying in the second half. I was actually a little concerned because I wasn't crying, but then when it got really freaking sad I cried appropriately. My buddy, who has seen the stage version three times with various casts, said she liked the movie better than on-stage, even if they took some stuff out and moved some things around.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005
my holiday card/wrapping paper store of choice
For the last eight or more years (oh man, really that long? [looks through old cards] yes, really that long) I've bought all my holiday cards and thank-you cards from Rock Scissor Paper. This year I even bought wrapping paper from them.

I love all of their designs, and they do more than holiday cards. Invitations, notepads, stationary, etc. Really good stuff, a really good price for such nice things, good customer service, and so on.

Five stars! Highest recommendation!

Saturday, November 19, 2005
too old, my ass
Land Grant Trophy? check.

Big Ten title? check. Shared, but whatever. The nuts were crushed in Happy Valley.

BCS bid? check.

Now, if someone would just give back that one freaking second against the blue team with the stupid helmets, all would be right with the world.

If you're terribly confused by this post, just move along. It's football-encoded.

Friday, November 18, 2005
Dancing Kitty!
See, this is the crap the interwebnets were made for...

The "Dancing Kitty" video! As the site says, "It's stupid. It's hilarious. It's DANCING KITTY."

Rock on.

Thursday, November 17, 2005
new post at my book's blog
I just posted an informational roundup post on the blog for the book. I felt it was necessary because Blogger stuck a link to it on the main page's "Blogs of Note" and I started getting a bunch of strange comments. I figured something was up so I turned on comment moderation and then wrote this informational post.

For those of you interested in the style and tone of the book, I posted six pages in PDF format. It's Topic 34, "Using Blogger's Commenting System" from Chapter 6, "Commenting and Trackback," which I just randomly selected as an example of the pictures and steps that are used throughout the book.

that really cool-sounding romanticism seminar next semester
For people interested in such things, here are the primary texts we'll be using. Yes, of COURSE I've already ordered the ones I don't already own.

The prof, aka "newly-minted PhD," is very cool. I popped by her office the other day to chat about some things related to her research (no, I wasn't there kissing ass or anything—I'm working with some profs on some projects and one of them said that I should go talk to this particular prof given my knowledge of crazy weird things like TEI standards, so I did) and we also talked about the grad seminar next semester and voila: list of texts.

Then we chatted briefly about theory class for no real reason, and she told me "you absolutely MUST read" a particular Derrida piece...which of course I have already printed for the next rainy day. So yeah, my classmates already think I'm strange...thankfully none of them were around when I said "alrighty!" to the reading of extra Derrida. I did chuckle to myself, though.

my dream weekend
Schoolwork! I need to do schoolwork!

But alas it probably will not be. It's as yet unclear how I am to write two papers by the 12th of December (as well as a few minor other assignments). At least I have an outline and thesis for both...it's not like I haven't been thinking about them for weeks and weeks.

But I lack long stretches of non-working time due to the Enterprise App Taking Over My Life. It's taking over the life of my boss as well so I'm not alone in my stress about it, but it's still not fun. I get no joy out of my work. I get a paycheck, for which I am grateful, but not grateful enough that my dislike for my work is not readily apparent to my boss. I'm terrible to her, really. Since we're technically friends in non-work life, whatever that is, you can imagine how we're not really friends anymore. I think I'm finally starting to give up on that dream.

But yeah, my dream weekend is to sleep a relatively normal amount, during normal sleeping hours, and to spend actual long stretches of time trying to be a good student. Not to mention I have to catch up on some other projects.

anatomy of a whoopie pie
One part whoopie, aka "sugary icing goodness," and one part pie, aka "cake."

In this instance, the cake is chocolate. This is the standard cake type. Other types include vanilla, vanilla with chocolate chip, and special holiday kinds like gingerbreadish. The icing can also differ, such as the vanilla cake with peanut butter icing (I think that's what it is, I haven't eaten it yet) version from my care package, but plain ol' white is the best.

These little guys are best put in the freezer so the moistness of everything doesn't just make it crumble in your hands when you try to eat it. When I was a kid—and yeah, who are we kidding, I still do it—I would separate the cake from the icing and eat it in thirds: top cake, bottom cake, and then the whole chunk of icing.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Teaching Carnival III
I thought I read a lot of blogs, then along comes Teaching Carnival III (good job, Scrivener!) to show me how much more is out there.

So. Much. Good. Stuff.

Can't wait until I actually get a moment to follow all the links...which probably won't be until Teaching Carnival V rolls around.

freaky old movies
On Sunday afternoon I went with a school chum to a double-feature at the Stanford Theatre, a delightful old place from the 1920s with a balcony and a Wurlitzer and really cheap prices: $7 double feature, $2 popcorn, $1 sodas, etc. I love it.

We saw Black Narcissus (1947) and The Innocents (1961). It was Deborah Kerr day, apparently. Both had elements of what I like to call "freakydeskyism," which of course is a highly technical film studies term. Or not. But there sure were some scary parts in each. In Black Narcissus, standing on the edge of a sheer cliff thousands of feet high while gusty wind blows all around you is basically my worst nightmare. But these nuns tottered on out there and rang the bell, so more power to them. When Sister Ruth (Kathleen Byron) went insane, boy did she ever look the part. Actually, psycho Sister Ruth looked a lot like Anne Heche.

The Innocents is The Turn of the Screw put to film and it was in black and white so even spookier than the technicolored Black Narcissus. So, so funny, all these gen-X'ers (and younger) such as myself getting all freaked out by some crazy-man's face in the window, while the old ladies all laughed at us. We're the generation raised on Stephen King, The Shining (or "shinning" if you're Groundskeeper Willie), Freddie and Jason slasher movies, and so on, but make a movie with some little English kids possessed by the spirits of dead lovers and we get all freaked out. But it was good and creepy and made me want to re-read the story!

Sunday, November 13, 2005
using javascript to randomize things in your blog template
First, let me begin with the disclaimer that this particular solution may not be the most hifalutin' programmerish way to do this, but it is a usable, flexible, simple way to achieve a particular goal for users with zero to little familiarity with code, and/or for users who do not have access to server-side languages or even access to storing external files on a server. Randomizing things when server-side languages are available, or when external files can be stored and called by server-side or client-side languages, that's a whole other set of instructions.

Given the information that follows, you'll be able to randomize things in your blog template using JavaScript. Examples include images and text, as used for header graphics and taglines—but you can use the code to place images and text anywhere in your template, not just at the top.

The fundamental function that controls the randomization of things is the randRange() function seen below:
<script type="text/javascript" language="javascript">
function randRange(lowVal,highVal) {
     return Math.floor(Math.random()*(highVal-lowVal+1))+lowVal;
}
</script>
Paste this function in the HEAD area of your blog template. The HEAD area of your blog template is surrounded by <head></head> tags. Your stylesheet, meta tags, and likely other JavaScript functions are in this area as well. Just cut and paste the code above somewhere in that area. If you are unsure where to put it, look in your template for the closing </head> tag and paste this code just above it.

Once pasted in the HEAD area of your blog template, you can forget about this function. Whether you plan to randomize your header graphic, tagline text, both, or something else, you will call this function in order to get a random number, but you won't have to modify this code or duplicate it further down in your template, or anything like that. Just paste it in and move on.

Next I'll explain the actual randomizing process before getting all specific with headers or text. This entire process works off two basic concepts: 1) get a random number and 2) match the random number to something.

You get a random number by calling the randRange() function you pasted into the HEAD area of your blog template. Before calling the function you must know the high end of the range of numbers. For instance, if you want to select a random header graphic from a set of five, then five is the high end of the range. Similarly, if you want to select a random tagline from a set of fifteen, then fifteen is the high end of the range. Here is how the function is called:
var randVal = randRange(1,[total number of things]);
Where "randVal" is the name of the variable you are creating, and [total number of things] is the high end of the range. In case you want to use the randomizer multiple times in your template, it's best to name the variable something akin to the number it represents. Let's assume the random value is for a random header, and you have five possible headers to choose from. You would then use something like this:
var randHdr = randRange(1,5);
The result of this function will be a random number between 1 and 5 (inclusive) assigned to the variable randHdr. In other words, randHdr could be assigned a value of 1, or 2, or 3, or 4, or 5. Now that you have that value, stored in the randHdr variable, you need to do something with it to get the random header displayed on the page.

The next part of this process sets up an if...else logical construct that looks to match the number stored in randHdr. When a match is made, the JavaScript document.write() method will be used to write text to the browser. For instance:
if (randVal == 1) {
     document.write('random thing 1')
} else if (randVal == 2) {
     document.write('random thing 2')
}
...and so on; for as many items as you have, you need to add a matching else if (something) in there. For instance, say you have five things:
if (randVal == 1) {
     document.write('random thing 1')
} else if (randVal == 2) {
     document.write('random thing 2')
} else if (randVal == 3) {
     document.write('random thing 3')
} else if (randVal == 4) {
     document.write('random thing 4')
} else if (randVal == 5) {
     document.write('random thing 5')
}
Or maybe eight things:
if (randVal == 1) {
     document.write('random thing 1')
} else if (randVal == 2) {
     document.write('random thing 2')
} else if (randVal == 3) {
     document.write('random thing 3')
} else if (randVal == 4) {
     document.write('random thing 4')
} else if (randVal == 5) {
     document.write('random thing 5')
} else if (randVal == 6) {
     document.write('random thing 6')
} else if (randVal == 7) {
     document.write('random thing 7')
} else if (randVal == 8) {
     document.write('random thing 8')
}
I think you get the idea. This is also the area where someone will say "but you could also [insert solution here]" where [insert solution here] is something like "put things in a database" or "put things in an external file" or "make an array and randomize it instead" or ... you get the idea. All those things are true. But in the case of people who don't have access to a database, or access to a filesystem, or don't want to have to understand arrays with their keys and values and indices and counting starting at 0 instead of 1, this solution will work. All you have to do is cut and paste and increment by 1.

The text that appears within the document.write() method can either be text—useful for a tagline but not for a header graphic—or a bit of HTML. The HTML in this case will be an <img> tag specific to an image stored somewhere. There's the key for randomizing header graphics: the graphics must be stored somewhere. You can use Blogger images, Flickr, PhotoBucket, whatever you want. As long as you have a full URL to the image in question, then you're good to go. Let's say you have three images to randomize. You would use:
if (randHdr == 1) {
     document.write('<img src="http://url.to/file1.ext">')
} else if (randHdr == 2) {
     document.write('<img src="http://url.to/file2.ext">')
} else if (randHdr == 3) {
     document.write('<img src="http://url.to/file3.ext">')
}
Replacing, of course, "url.to" with the appropriate domain and/or directories, and "file.ext" with a filename including extenstion, such as "somerandomhdr.jpg". Example:
if (randHdr == 1) {
     document.write('<img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3212/748/1600/saltandpepper.jpg">')
} else if (randHdr == 2) {
     document.write('<img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3212/748/1600/card%20catalogue.jpg">')
} else if (randHdr == 3) {
     document.write('<img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3212/748/1600/sushi.jpg">')
}
The actual chunk of code you'd use in your template must be surrounded by the appropriate <script></script> tag pair and contain the call to the randRange() function, like so:
<script type="text/javascript" language="javascript">
var randHdr = randRange(1,3);

if (randHdr == 1) {
     document.write('<img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3212/748/1600/saltandpepper.jpg">')
} else if (randHdr == 2) {
     document.write('<img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3212/748/1600/card%20catalogue.jpg">')
} else if (randHdr == 3) {
     document.write('<img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3212/748/1600/sushi.jpg">')
}
</script>
When a page is loaded containing this code, first a value will be assigned to randHdr and then the matching will take place via the if...else construct that follows it. For whichever line matches the random value, the text (or code) within the document.write() method will be printed to your browser. So, if value of randHdr is 2, then this will be printed to your browser:
<img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3212/748/1600/card%20catalogue.jpg">
This of course brings up the last key to the puzzle: where to put this JavaScript? The JavaScript should be placed wherever you want the resulting text (or code) to be printed. So let's say the source code looks like this:
<div id="banner-inner" class="pkg">
<a href="http://kinesthesis.blogspot.com">
<img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3212/748/1600/shore-stairs.jpg">
</a>
<h2 id="banner-description">just keepin' the dream alive, man.</h2>
</div>
The random header image will be replacing the bold text:
<div id="banner-inner" class="pkg">
<a href="http://kinesthesis.blogspot.com">
<img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3212/748/1600/shore-stairs.jpg">
</a>
<h2 id="banner-description">just keepin' the dream alive, man.</h2>
</div>
So you'd want to paste in the JavaScript like so:
<div id="banner-inner" class="pkg">
<a href="http://kinesthesis.blogspot.com">
<script type="text/javascript" language="javascript">
var randHdr = randRange(1,3);

if (randHdr == 1) {
     document.write('<img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3212/748/1600/saltandpepper.jpg">')
} else if (randHdr == 2) {
     document.write('<img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3212/748/1600/card%20catalogue.jpg">')
} else if (randHdr == 3) {
     document.write('<img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3212/748/1600/sushi.jpg">')
}
</script>
</a>
<h2 id="banner-description">just keepin' the dream alive, man.</h2>
</div>
As we all know, templates differ from user to user so pointing out exactly where this code should go for all templates would be difficult to say the least. So, after giving it a try in your own template, I would highly recomment using the handy "Preview" button to see where the random header ends up. Also note that you would stick a border=0 in the <img> tag in this particular instance, since it will be surrounded by a link and thus would have a border around it.

So, on to random taglines...which are exactly the same as random headers except the text (or HTML) within the document.write() method will not be an <img> tag. Let's assume you're Pilgrim/Heretic and have random taglines out the wazoo, where in this case "out the wazoo" means "six." Your JavaScript might look something like this:
<script type="text/javascript" language="javascript">
var randTagLine = randRange(1,6);

if (randTagLine == 1) {
     document.write('A deep-fried barbaric yawp.')
} else if (randTagLine == 2) {
     document.write('Perhaps I was channeling Tamerlane.')
} else if (randTagLine == 3) {
     document.write('We are going to celebrate ourselves in a Walt Whitman kind of a way.')
} else if (randTagLine == 4) {
     document.write('If we do it right, we\'ll sound like the world\'s biggest gamelon band.')
} else if (randTagLine == 5) {
     document.write('I would be remiss in not stating that gongs are for banging and thence to getting it on.')
} else if (randTagLine == 6) {
     document.write('Desert, but minus the troublesome Warrior icing.')
}
</script>
Note the use of the backslash to escape the apostrophes. Apostrophes within single-quoted strings are bad news, so remember to escape them with the backslash.

So where does this bit of JavaScript go? Depends on the location of your tagline. In P/H's case, the source code looks like this:
<div id="blog-header"><h1>
Pilgrim/Heretic
</h1>
<p>A deep-fried barbaric yawp.</p>
...so you'd want to place your JavaScript like so:
<div id="blog-header"><h1>
Pilgrim/Heretic
</h1>
<p>
<script type="text/javascript" language="javascript">
var randTagLine = randRange(1,6);

if (randTagLine == 1) {
     document.write('A deep-fried barbaric yawp.')
} else if (randTagLine == 2) {
     document.write('Perhaps I was channeling Tamerlane.')
} else if (randTagLine == 3) {
     document.write('We are going to celebrate ourselves in a Walt Whitman kind of a way.')
} else if (randTagLine == 4) {
     document.write('If we do it right, we\'ll sound like the world\'s biggest gamelon band.')
} else if (randTagLine == 5) {
     document.write('I would be remiss in not stating that gongs are for banging and thence to getting it on.')
} else if (randTagLine == 6) {
     document.write('Desert, but minus the troublesome Warrior icing.')
}
</script>
</p>
In the case of a tagline or other bit of text, put any HTML markup outside the JavaScript if for no other reason than it is repetitive. For instance, if you wanted this string to be emphasized, the <em></em> tag pair would go outside like so:
<div id="blog-header"><h1>
Pilgrim/Heretic
</h1>
<p><em>
[code]
</em></p>
Remember, as with any template-fiddling you do, be sure to backup your template before making modifications, and preview, preview, preview before publishing. Also note this isn't Blogger-specific or even blog-specific, as random JavaScript things can be used in any blog or web site. Just some of the terminology used here like "blogger template" or "preview button" would have to be substituted appropriately for your own platform and situation.

UPDATED to add: So you want to get all crazy and randomize two sets of things, let's say header graphic and tagline.
Let's also assume that this is the non-random, static content:
<div id="banner-inner" class="pkg">
<a href="http://kinesthesis.blogspot.com">
<img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3212/748/1600/shore-stairs.jpg">
</a>
<h2 id="banner-description">just keepin' the dream alive, man.</h2>
</div>
Here (again) is the same content with the random header graphic:
<div id="banner-inner" class="pkg">
<a href="http://kinesthesis.blogspot.com">
<script type="text/javascript" language="javascript">
var randHdr = randRange(1,3);

if (randHdr == 1) {
     document.write('<img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3212/748/1600/saltandpepper.jpg">')
} else if (randHdr == 2) {
     document.write('<img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3212/748/1600/card%20catalogue.jpg">')
} else if (randHdr == 3) {
     document.write('<img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3212/748/1600/sushi.jpg">')
}
</script>
</a>
<h2 id="banner-description">just keepin' the dream alive, man.</h2>
</div>
Now we do something for taglines:
<div id="banner-inner" class="pkg">
<a href="http://kinesthesis.blogspot.com">
<script type="text/javascript" language="javascript">
var randHdr = randRange(1,3);

if (randHdr == 1) {
     document.write('<img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3212/748/1600/saltandpepper.jpg">')
} else if (randHdr == 2) {
     document.write('<img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3212/748/1600/card%20catalogue.jpg">')
} else if (randHdr == 3) {
     document.write('<img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3212/748/1600/sushi.jpg">')
}
</script>
</a>
<h2 id="banner-description">
<script type="text/javascript" language="javascript">
var randTagline = randRange(1,4);

if (randTagline == 1) {
     document.write('some tagline 1')
} else if (randTagline == 2) {
     document.write('some tagline 2')
} else if (randTagline == 3) {
     document.write('some tagline 3')
} else if (randTagline == 4) {
     document.write('some tagline 4')
}
</script>
</h2>
</div>
Note that the variable name was changed from randHdr to randTagline, and in this example since there are four taglines and three header graphics the second call to the randRange() function uses "4" as the upper limit. In the if...else construct there are four possibilities instead of the three in the construct for the graphics, and the variable being matched is also randTagline instead of randHdr.

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Saturday, November 12, 2005
vote for a gravatar for my folks
My mom wants a gravatar for when they comment here. They share an email address (hers), so the gravatar has to be the same for both of them since gravatars are tied to email addreses.

Here are the options, so selected by me:

A) mom, at a bachelorette party
B) dad, after receiving a thong for christmas
C) both of them together

Vote in the comments below!

UPDATED: C was the overwhelming favorite, and as such it is now the official gravatar for my folks. How cute.

Friday, November 11, 2005
too funny to languish in a comment
In the comments to this post, my mom said that she was going to send me some funky sunglasses to send to profgrrrrl and I said that when she sent them, she should also send whoopie pies for me.

I don't care what the wikipedia entry for whoopie pies says, they're PA Dutch, not from Maine. I am from Mifflin Co., Pennsylvania, home of the Nebraska Amish. Yes, I could explain why they're called the Nebraska Amish even though they exist only in my home county in PA. But I won't. You can read the article.

Mom said this in response to my request for whoopie pies:
There's a rumor going around, supposedly true, that when the Amish are short on milk for the icing in the whoopie pies, they just pump a little breast milk into the mix. Hmmmm. I'll just send some anyway.
While I'm on the topic of my home county, I'd just like to say that the Wikipedia article on the Central Pennsylvania accent is very well done. The part at the end about diglossia and code switching is relevant for me.

the book cover
This is the front cover of my book. Note the female on the front. It's not me (thank god!) but it's a woman. Because there are female bloggers, you know!

Here's a PDF (380K) of a rev of the entire cover, front and back. Note that indeed the photo voted on by you is on the back cover. The text will be slightly different (I hope...don't know if the change made it in on time) to reflect that I've stopped teaching at Sessions.edu.

Thursday, November 10, 2005
following up to random/tired
I'm going to respond to all the comments to this post in this post, because otherwise I'll just confuse myself and others.

Scriv: yes, that randomizing thing will make Dr. M and others happy. Also, it can be used for random taglines as well, meaning that dear Pilgrim/Heretic can use ALL the fun tag lines...

Dr. M: you simply must tell me who you know at my school! Except if they're not in English I probably don't know them. Unless you know Dr. Free-Ride. Also yeah, I know about the whole taking-advantage thing, and I'm the one that offered my services to two profs in particular, motivated for purely political reasons I admit. I mean, I really dig both of them and I dig their projects and I know I can be of great service to them, but it's also for the recommendations and connections that come with the work. In the case of helping Mel and her projects, she knows if she even thought about having anyone else help her from a technical aspect, I'd kick her butt. (Hi Mel!)

Jane Dark: You will kick ass in your presentation, I think we all know that. :) Yes, my odd classmate is very odd. I honestly do not even think she knows which program she is in: MA or MFA. She says MA, and she's taking the MA methods class (the MFA folks have their own class) as well as literature classes but when she printed her handout it printed the document location in the footer and it clearly said "Master_of_Fine_Arts" so who the hell knows. When she gave her book presentation last week I almost had to leave the room for an extended period of time because it was so very painful. Enough about her (until she does something crazy). I know the Romantics class will be the big six plus Inchbald and Landon, not sure about others yet. We are also going to be "guided by" Gaull's English Romanticism: The Human Context. You also ask: "Do you ever distrust something because it sounds as though it's trying to make something sound extra-fun when you already thought that it was dazzling?" Depends on the day. Typically yes, in everything except newly-minted PhDs teaching their first grad seminar ever. In this instance, I totally understand.

Pink Cupcake: I highly recommned ditching law and going back to literature. :) But now we have to discuss bubble tea. Jane's diagram is accurate, but she forgot to mention the coolness of the vacuum-sealed plastic lid and the sharp-ended extra-fat straws. Oh wait, maybe I'm the only one who thinks they're cool. Now, the truth is that "bubble tea" really isn't "tea" per se...unless it is. More like a fruit and cream drink with a wee bit of tea-like stuff in it. The boba (little tapioca blobs) are optional, but without the boba, the typical bubble tea would just be a smoothie and not so much a tea. But let it be known that when I go to a bubble tea place, as I discussed here last year, I often do not get the "bubble tea" to which Jane refers. Often I get actual tea, often milk tea (e.g. tea with milk). For instance, see the drink menu for Quickly, one of the bubble tea places I often visit. Tons of milk tea types. I often get Almond Milk Tea, with the boba. I could also get regular tea with boba (no milk) and I could get it all iced or hot. It gets complicated when we move into the icy drinks versus the snow drinks, and the various differences therein. But really, think hot or cold drink plus flavor plus chewy chunks of tapioca. Fun for all. I have not moved into the realm of puddings or vinegar drinks, because really, they scare the hell out of me. But I like watermelon icy drinks with boba, and I can get those at the "bubble tea" place as well.

Michelle: My aversion to Middlemarch has roots that extend to my soul. I wrote about it a year ago here (other things in that post are a bit off as it was a year ago, but the story about why Middlemarch is what it is to me, it's true. Although I did read it and it didn't completely suck and I really won't mind terribly reading it again. I'm just not a Middlemarch person. I'm much more of a Hardy person, if I'm working with novels from that country.

Seeker: There's no "trying" polyphasic sleep for me. It's actually what I've done for years but until Mel blogged about it I didn't know it had a name. I just thought it was the weird way that I sleep!

super grover
I bought this (an Alex Ross Signed Super Grover Lithograph) for myself today.

I love Super Grover.

tea! lovely, lovely tea
Halloweenlover left a comment on my Flickr photo of a tea shipment I got from Adagio Teas a few months ago. I actually blogged about it here, talking about how lovely the box smelled and how excited I was to get new tea goodies.

I still love Adagio Teas and especially my ingenuiTEA teapot. It ROCKS. I had purchased a sampler of teas, each in little 2oz containers, and they lasted quite a long time. I'm partial to black tea but I'm learning to appreciate really good green tea. Herbals have never really been my thing except for when I'm really sick and it's some sort of super heavy-duty good-for-you kind of herbal tea. But as normal everyday tea, not so much.

Adagio Teas offers like a bazillion different kinds of tea, in various sizes. When they say the 2oz sample makes ten cups, they mean it. For two bucks, the samples are a great way to try a bunch of new teas. Each tea has a photo of the actual loose tea in a wee pile, plus a good description of the flavor produced. Also, within each section you can switch between an alphabetical listing, a user rating, and a country of origin. So for example if you're looking at the herbal listing you can see alphabetically "apple cantata" to "wild strawberry", then the rating (out of five) with peppermint leading the way, then you can switch to origin and see that most come from China but some from Thailand. These folks know their tea.

In my most recent order, I ordered sample sizes of yunnan jig (which I already know I like), earl grey green, rooibos almond, and chestnut (for the holidays).

The offer of $5 gift certificates still stands—that's 25 cups of tea of you get 2.5 sample sized teas. If you'd like a certificate to Adagio Teas, leave a comment and I'll send one to you [or enter your address over there in the right-column under the "Goodies for You" heading]. It's part of their spread-the-word marketing campaign, wherein basically if you want free tea, you can get it. How cool is that?!

edited to add: Nancy White recently posted about the various elements of a "tea community" that Adagio has, such as TeaChef, TeaMuse, TeaChat, and TeaMap...things I totally failed to mention but are indeed great.

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Wednesday, November 09, 2005
random/tired
* California voters, good job! Maine, you rock. Dover PA, nice going! Texas and Kansas are still teh suck.

* The key to giving a successful presentation on Deconstruction in one's theory class is to [insert big fat ironic DUH here] throw out your outline as soon as you begin speaking and ramble on extemporaneously and use lots of hand signals. Bonus points for reading a quote from the book which was the subject of the report (the aptly named Deconstruction), noting all glassy eyes, throwing the book down for emphasis and saying "ok, screw Norris, it's like this" much to the delight of one's prof. He actually said, "that was an excellent report" right there when I was done, with everyone listening. That rocked.

* I am going to hear Azar Nafisi, author of Reading Lolita in Tehran, in a few minutes. Dr. Free-Ride is going to go to the noon talk/discussion tomorrow, and since she can't make tonight's event and I can't make tomorrow's event, we're going to exchange notes. Dr. F-R, if you get to teach "Philosophy in Literature" in the next three semesters, I'll find a way to take it!

* I am excited at the prospect of sleeping tonight, uninterrupted and for longer than 15 or 20 minutes.

* I have anywhere from three to six different projects I'm working on for various faculty here and elsewhere. All of a sudden I've gone from having no place in the academic world to being shockingly valuable from a technical/research standpoint. Thanks a lot, Mel, for planting ideas in my head...because I'm not nearly busy enough, you know. Also? None of these projects revolve around authors/eras I'm personally interested in, but that's ok! The Alcott stuff (Bronson, not Louisa May) is the closest in time and place, with Steinbeck stuff a distant second (right continent, wrong time), but everything else isn't even the right continent. Or genre. Fun for all!

* On Friday I get to register for classes. In Spring 2006, Thursdays will be known as "19th Century British Thursdays" what with Romanticism at 4pm followed by Victorian Lit at 7pm. That's 6 solid hours of ... that. Yes, I know I wrote a note to myself not to take the Victorian seminar because you know...Middlemarch, but I am going to anyway because I like the rest of the stuff we're going to read.

* Before theory class the other day, I was reading the just-published description of courses and got to the description of the Romanticism seminar. Now, I would have taken it if its only description was "big six," but the newly-minted-PhD-enthusiasm of the person teaching it totally comes through in a description that begins: "Girly girls, supermen, tough-talking viragos, queer fairies and cross-dressers are all part of the celebrated class we'll meet this semester as we read poetry, novels, and essays of the Romantic period. What was it about the 1790s that caused all hell to break loose in the field of British letters anyway?" Come on, that's awesome. I said as much to the person sitting next to me in class, who thought it was cool but obviously didn't think it was quite as cool as I did. But the women who writes poetry in lieu of a presentation on Wellek, she said, "that's a really weird description" in a totally I'm-a-dumbass kind of way. Since I was so stoked by the description, my little filter wasn't turned on and I shot back with an incredibly condescending "you obviously haven't read your Romantic poets, now have you?" You know what? I didn't feel bad about saying it, either, especially since other people chuckled at it. I know, I'm going to hell.

* I made up for going to hell by writing a long and detailed email to a classmate in both my methods class and my theory class, explaining assignments and expectations and registration and stuff. She's Indian and very well-read but assignments in the classes aren't making sense to her in the explanations given by the profs. So, I'm helping her, and so are a few others in my theory class. She remarked how happy she is that we are helping her and that she hasn't experienced fellow students being so genuinely concerned and helpful as we have been. She also remarked in class how in America was just have too many drinks. I always have a water and a coffee, others have a thermos of tea or a soda or a juice and so on. She looked around the table one day and just said, "In America, you have so many drinks!" It was funny.

* I will be writing a post later about randomizing header graphics for all you bloggy people into changing your header graphics.

* I am tired!

i am not in this photo
In lieu of some substantial post, I'd like to fill this space with this lovely photo of my mother. She's the one on the far right. From left-to-right is: some fellow I don't know, my uncle, my cousin (mother of the very, very cute Sam), and finally my mom.

The event was my (other) cousin's bachelorette party, at some dive bar (although really, aren't they all?) in my hometown. I hear there was karaoke and much merriment. My mother's presence was specifically requested, because it seems all my cousins and their friends think she's a hoot and a half. Perhaps she is, but I don't see it of course because she's my mother. But they have fun, so good for all them. (Hi mom!)

UPDATED: My cousin just emailed and said "wait until your mom tells you about the pimp hats!" Jesus...

Saturday, November 05, 2005
frappr'd
Check out our Frappr!I thought this was a nice little app when I saw profgrrrrl set up her map, and since then I've added myself to no less than six additional Frappr maps (apostropher, republic of t, crooked timber, feministe, shakespeare's sister, starfish & coffee) just because it's cool and I like to see if anyone from my neck of the woods also reads blogs that I do.

So, please add yourself to my Frappr map, even all you anonymous/pseudonymous people—think of it as a way to place your pin in the map near a place you'd like to be. For instance, profgrrrrl always puts herself near Las Vegas (and that's not where she lives). So, make up a location, I don't care...just say hi! Think of it as delurking without actually having to say anything. :)

I reserve the right to remove this post if only my parents and myself end up on the map, because that'll make me look ultra-lame
I am not lame, and you guys are so much fun! I think Laura wins for loudest shout!


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Friday, November 04, 2005
tell me!
Shakes Sis asks What little movie do you just love, that you find yourself recommending to everyone, because hardly anyone has seen it? She went on to say Henry Fool and I totally agree. But I also said The Passion of Darkly Noon.

What about you all? What movies do you like a lot that you think others haven't even heard about?

reminiscing about final exams
In a recent post, Jane Dark mentioned lining up for registration and I thought that was so quaint. Yes, I realize a lot of schools probably have in-person registration but the way she described it, with the waiting hours before the appointed time in the department, it just reminded me of the way my undergrad school did final exams. Not with the lining up in the department or anything, since we had no departmental distinctions by building or office suite, just the "old skool" aspect of it all, what with this technology age and such (case in point: my registration appointment this semester means that 3:00pm on Nov 11 PeopleSoft will allow me to classes to my record...online).

Our final exam system went like this: we had a list of exams, and five exam days in which to take them, with two exam slots on each day for a total of ten available slots. We got a card (pictured here) with the list of exams and room locations. Except the room location wasn't where you took the exam (although you could), it was just the place you picked it up—you could take it anywhere in the building. We only had three buildings on campus in which classes were held: art, science, and "academic." Because, you know, art and science aren't academic? Whatever. It was just the name of the building— art was in Deming, science was in Pierce, and everything else was in Academic. Really. Ok, so when I had exams that were held in the science building, I often took my exam into the bathroom and sat on the floor, instead of sitting at lab tables and what not. All that science stuff just doesn't do it for me. But when my exams were in Academic, I always scored a place in the cushy chairs in the 4th floor lounge-like area (four chairs next to a window) . For all three years, that's where I took most of my exams.

When you went to pick up your exams, the prof in charge of handing out exams for that slot on that particular floor—could be anyone from any department, they just had a box of manilla envelopes with names and courses on them)—initialed your card. When you handed it back in at the end of the three hours (or before), whomever took your exam initialed it again. That's all. No proctoring (well, if you were in a room there was someone there, but if you were, say, in the bathroom or the lounge no one was there watching you), no clearing-of-the-building when a time slot ended, none of that. Everyone just gave their exams back on time or reasonably near, and that was the end of it.

I could say a lot of negative things about my college, but I don't number the faculty among the troublesome things. Nor do I count academic dishonesty among the negative things. We had more than our fair share of not-so-bright students, and their personal and political philosophies rarely matched mine (and vice versa, of course), but I don't think they were a bunch of cheaters. This method of exam-taking had been in place loooong before I attended the school and never had a reason to change it. What's happened since then I don't know, but at least then it was a really low-stress affair. Also? The cafeteria was open for late-night breakfast during exam week, which was cool. Of course, I typically went to Waffle House at night, after I had transportation and/or friends with transportation. Sigh. Waffle House, how I miss thee.

Why did I keep this card, you might ask? I don't know. I recently found it in my Latin book. I think I kept it to remind myself of a pretty fun final semester of school. This card shows seven classes, but I actually took eleven that semester—I had two exam cards! One of the benefits of a small school is that if your Department Chair (Ethel) and Dean (Jim) sign off on your crazy plan, you can do your crazy plan. Mine was to take 33 credits in one semester. Yes, that's one more final than there were exam slots in the week, but one course was the Major's Seminar (no final) and one was Latin II which was an independent study and thus a final I could take whenever. The 3.6 I got that semester was the second-best I had done in the six semesters I was there, and I would have done a hell of a lot better had it not been for the B in the crappy sociology class I took. Stupid social sciences. (I kid, I kid.)

Needless to say, I cannot fathom a final exam period like this in a college with more than the 800 students mine had. Then again, since you couldn't bring the Internet into the exam room with you, and nothing more than a few pencils or a notesheet (if your exam envelope stated as much), maybe there wouldn't be as much cheating as I just—unfortunately—assume there would be nowadays.

blogger comment moderation
[cross-posted to my blogger in a snap blog]

Via BloggerBuzz comes the announcement of comment moderation.

Yes, VERY GOOD and NECESSARY and also thanks a lot for adding an element to the GUI painstakingly captured throughout 1/4 of my book.

What the hell, though. I'd rather have a big ol' errata page saying things like "you'll notice an additional link in the subnavigation of the Posting section..." than no Blogger comment moderation at all. Good job, Blogger folks!

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Thursday, November 03, 2005
better than pie or cake!
I have the BEST acquisitions editor IN THE WORLD. Not only does she stand by me when I am woefully late delivering chapters (which is all the time), she doesn't pitch a fit when I give her husband's company short shrift in my book (that would be feedster), AND she sends goodies to me when I'm having a crappy month/finish a book.

Do not click through to the full post if you are on a diet.

jumbo choco-covered strawberriesone bite down, several more to go...
Six different jumbo chocolate-covered strawberries from Shari's Berries. Not pictured: an additional one pound block of Halloween chocolate!
They're huge, they're fresh, and needless to say they are outstanding.

Of course, the irony of the situation is that they arrived the same day as my latest one-month supply of Nutrisystem food. Oh well...these strawberries simply must be eaten.

THANK YOU, SHELLEY! You're the best.

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Wednesday, November 02, 2005
my AmLit presentation went well (yay)
Last night I gave a presentation in my AmLit class. Unlike my theory class, we were able to choose the subject of our presentation. So each week someone gives a 20-minute overview/introduction to the author and work we're discussing during that class. Standard fare—a general overview, nothing too terribly earth-shattering. I picked Jean Toomer because I hadn't read Cane before nor had anyone else in the class except for two people. My reasoning was two-fold: I could get excited by something new (which I did), and if I screwed it up no one would know (which I didn't). Unlike, say, a presentation on Edith Wharton and Ethan Frome or William Faulkner and The Sound and the Fury...almost everyone in the class has studied those works at least once and knows something about the author.

One of the great benefits of working where I do is that our creative director, aka my best pal's partner, aka a really frickin' smart person with a history degree from Stanford and both a great-grandfather and a great-aunt who were Pulitzer Prize winners, is that I don't have to use any of the standard PowerPoint templates. Also, she knows things (see previous description of brain and genes) and thus when I ask for her opinion about the content of my presentation, we can converse intelligently about it. She's awesome. Anyway, based on my outline of sections, a handful of images, and a brief description of the time (Harlem Renaissance) she came up with a really cool template that uses various pieces of Aaron Douglas paintings as backgrounds. I dropped in all my content and it looked great projected on the wall. I have a copy here (PPS, 6.8MB) if anyone cares to see. No, we weren't graded on the actual ability to make a PowerPoint (it wasn't even required, just suggested, but most people used it) because if we were I wouldn't have asked my friend to make me a cool template, since that wouldn't have been fair. But the thing sure did look nice and made me feel better about the presentation, so hooray for that.

thanks again, and bookish update
Thanks again everyone for weighing in on what wee photo to use on the back of the book. That was fun, even if it means that 20K or so people will soon own a book with a photo of me lookng like a dork. Great.

Some readers have already gotten sneak previews of parts of the book, and so far no one has called me up to tell me how much it sucks. Whoo! If you're of the educator persuasion and want to see some of it to review for use as handouts or whatever for your classes that use blogs, take a look at the table of contents and tell me what you'd like to see. I sure wouldn't mind this book being "optional" reading for classes using Blogger. It's less than $20, after all. Anyway, if you want to see something just email me at jcmeloni at gmail dot com or leave a comment.

Funny thing, I still don't know what the cover looks like. The sample posted at Amazon/other booksellers isn't actually the cover, it's just a placeholder. As of Monday, the various editorial folks hadn't agreed on anything. I asked if I could see it (I have no input in these things) and when the fellow said they were still deciding and I told him that I was like a little kid at Christmas and just wanted to open my gift, he reminded me that patience is a virtue especially when it means I'll get a Colecovision instead of a Lite Brite. I thought that was funny.

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